Today’s talk deals with the shallowness we so often purport to observe in the opposite sex. Many a man’s financial health has been undermined because he involved himself with the wrong kind of woman. Don’t let it be you.
These words are aimed primarily at young readers, simply because for them there is still hope; our older friends have probably already learned these lessons the hard way… several times perhaps, but they too will gain from reading along.
Just a couple warnings before we begin. As with most things the Booby says, the following will no doubt offend some. Good.
Now, about that shallowness thing. We shall not go into great lengths here. Older readers are already aware of the financial burdens that often accompany our instinctive need for sex:
These burdens can include mortgage payments for that excessively large house, for example. But it’s not just the house itself. All the expensive trimmings that come with it, including the granite counter-tops and vessel sinks, contribute to those costs. Consider all those home equity loans taken out to pay for said granite counter tops and vessel sinks. And this is all before the divorce proceedings begin… you don’t think they’re coming, but they probably are.
There are several reasons this happens. Here’s one: Let’s admit it, your “dream-mate” is probably a real looker, resembling someone you’ve seen on TV, perhaps. Well then, mentally assess the gobs of her money (only your money is “our money”) she will spend on such “necessities” as makeup, shoes, hair-care products, shoes, hairstyles, shoes, and fashionable dress. These are all dollars not going into securing your financial futures!
For brevity, let’s call these burdens “The Price”. The Price is what keeps you a debt slave until your senior years, ensures that your children are raised to be spoiled, entitled brats (see here), all while you are helpless to protest for fear that the ensuing divorce may leave you financially ruined… or do you still believe that terminating the marriage via divorce will terminate your obligation to keep paying the Price? Let’s hope not.
So why do so many of our fellows do this? Well, the Booby is afraid to inform you, that we fellas are largely shallow, too! Read on.
You see, we mustn’t overly blame those of our female friends who are overwhelming shallow. They, like we, are hardwired to act in the ways we see. It doesn’t always have to be that way; upbringing, awareness, will, and discipline can help us all overpower our instinctive drives. Luckily, a great many of our female friends will not overburden us with the Price. It is, then, your sole mission as men to find these, and make them your mates, partners, or whatever… if it is a mate or partner that you seek.
The first step, gentlemen (on this, the Booby gives you all the benefit of the doubt), is to recognize your own shallowness. Don’t be ashamed. Our shallowness is hardwired, too, and we can also overpower our instincts with upbringing, awareness, will, and discipline. Our problem, you see, is that our sex drive and will to power invariably push us to seek what we shall call “the Prize”. Now, each of us has an idea of what the Prize looks like, see exhibit A below for just one example:
Obviously we fellas can’t be blamed for wanting the Prize, even if only for a night… or perhaps a fortnight. And if you can spend such an abbreviated period with the Prize then by all means do. The Booby envies you, you lucky dog.
But let’s be honest, it is not for a fortnight of private pleasures that most men try to possess the Prize. The Prize tells the world that you are powerful, that you are one of the impressive few who can attain her. You wear the Prize on your arm the way she wears her Italian handbag. This is simply what too many of us do: unconsciously perhaps, but typically to our own detriment.
Well then, clearly our female friends can’t be blamed, either, if their will to power compels them to aggressively acquire the social status that comes with hefty financial price tags. The more they resemble the Prize and thereby fulfill your shallowness, the better they can in turn make you pay the Price, and fulfill their own shallowness.
It’s that simple, guys. Our shallow obsession with appearance and perceived status (the Prize) makes us vulnerable to bear a lifelong burden (the Price).
Look, the Booby’s not a fool. Looks matter to some degree. The point is that the Prize is an atypical example of our female friends. In all likelihood she is unattainable to you (or unaffordable for you), given your own looks, personality, and income (be honest, readers). However, not resembling the Prize does not automatically make a woman ugly, or unattractive. It may well make her normal. It is from this stock that you will likely find a good mate (of course, the Booby advises against marriage, even common-law, but “mate” can mean many things).
Does she accept her plainness with humility, or does she rage at the world from behind a veil of feminist resentment? Is she perhaps from a poor family? If so, does she work, save, persevere that she may improve her lot? Or does she preach from a soapbox of egalitarian self-righteousness? Worst of all, does she devote her every waking hour to acquiring the baubles and ornaments of wealth, believing these will make her happy and give her life meaning?
These are the questions that need answering. The signs and red flags are obvious if you’re watching for them. If she deals well with her flaws she will likely make a good mate. Hopefully you have sufficiently dealt with yours to make you a good match for her.
Unfortunately, in the world there are those who are objectively ugly and unattractive. This is tragic, but it’s a fact. They are less likely to find mates of good stock, whether in terms of looks, character, or income. This is not your fault; you needn’t feel guilty about it; you are not obligated to correct it. Nature’s an uncaring witch.
You need not resign yourself to seeking out only physically unattractive mates. Just be realistic and know yourself. You doubtless have a lot of flaws, too, after all. Of course, if you’re a baby boomer or younger you may be unaware that you have flaws, since you were raised under the delusion that you are special. Well, take it from the Booby, you probably aren’t.
Maybe you’re short, or perhaps you’re pudgy. Maybe you’re scrawny. It could be that your back is just too damn hairy. You might be a lousy conversationalist (if you are, you’re probably unaware, given how special you are). You may be a coward and unable to stand up for yourself. You may exhibit inertia, which adheres you to the couch, or to a video-gaming console. Your unrealized dreams of stardom may mean you’re still busing tables at 35. You may be weighed down with student loan debt with nothing more to show for it than a degree in Marxist sociology. It could be that you’re just not very bright, and your net worth reflects a lifetime of accumulated bad decisions.
Well, gents. The good news is that many of these flaws can be overcome. Lose some weight; get into better shape (you don’t have to become a body builder, just improve). Learn to shut up and listen to what others are saying. Force yourself to stand up for yourself once in a while, too. Get off the couch, sell your video gaming box. Adopt some vocational skills that don’t involve dreams of rock-stardom.
As for that degree in Marxist sociology… well, not everyone can be improved. Just as there are people who will always be ugly, there are people who will always be stupid. On the bright side you can still find pseudo-fulfillment in academia.
Best of all, gents, summoning the strength and confidence to overcome your flaws will actually make you extremely attractive to our female friends. Trust the Booby on this. But do not misuse your new-found attractiveness to seek out the Prize (remember, the Prize comes at a price… the Price). Instead, you can seek out a mate who has, like you, overcome some of her flaws, who better knows herself, and will make a good mate.
Best of all, your new-found attractiveness means you have power in your relationship, something surprisingly few of your fellows have.
For example, you do not have to stick around in an unhappy situation. Really. If, for example, after 10 years your mate suddenly finds an unsavoury new religion (whether Oprah, born-again Christendom, some stomach-turning mass-movement, or the latest fashionable social justice cause) you can get the hell out that relationship. You now have the confidence to know you can do better. Exiting will be easy, since, if you’ve followed the Booby’s advice (see here), you’ll be neither married nor common-law.
So there you have it, gentlemen. Your first line of defense in a politically and sexually hostile world is yourself. You don’t need the Prize. If you pursue the Prize nonetheless, you had best be prepared to pay the Price. Unlike the Prize, a good mate will not define who you are: you will. By recognizing and addressing your flaws you will become more powerful, more attractive, and hopefully self-aware enough to shun an ornamental mate who will, fittingly, only drain you of your power.
Now find out what’s wrong with you, and get busy improving.